A pastor once shared a sobering lesson from the early days of his ministry and family life. While planting a “startup” church that demanded energy, focus, and sacrifice, he neglected his family. Yes, the ministry thrived—but family life quietly suffered.

The turning point came when his wife asked him to pause and think carefully about his responsibilities—not only as a pastor, but as a husband and father. She reminded him of a weighty truth: one day, he would give an account to the Lord for how he led his family. That conversation changed everything.

Placing responsibilities in their proper order produces a well-managed, well-ordered life. It clarifies what matters most. It exposes the truth that not everything is equally important. Order brings focus. Focus brings fruitfulness.

A well-managed life is orderly. There is routine. There is predictability. The person who lives such a life is well-ordered—usually calm, rarely frantic. There is no constant frenzy. Such a person does not attempt to do too many things. They are humble enough to know what they can and cannot do.

A disorderly life, on the other hand, is full of emergencies. There are too many commitments. Most of which are not important. Too many meetings and events that add no real growth. A chronic inability to say no. Much multitasking, yet little meaningful progress on any front. Deadlines are constantly missed. Work is sloppy. Relationships at home are strained. Priorities are unclear or inverted.

Here are two suggestions to order our lives well, and be good stewards of the lives we live.

1. Identify Your Core Responsibilities

One practical step toward a well-managed life is conducting a personal audit of responsibilities. This guards against being caught off guard. It helps prevent negligence and imbalance.

Our pastor friend did exactly this. He began to pray intentionally, asking God to reorder his life according to divine priorities. Clarity followed. He wrote down four defining statements that brought structure and conviction to his calling: 1) I am a person with a responsibility before God. 2) I am a partner with a responsibility to my wife. 3) I am a parent with a responsibility to my children. 4) I am a pastor with a responsibility to my congregation.

What about you? What are your core responsibilities? Are they correctly—and biblically—ordered?

If the ordering of relationships and responsibilities laid out by Paul in Ephesians 5 and 6 is anything to go by, then there is a right order.

First, believers are called to walk as children of God (Ephesians 5:1–20). This means walking as Christ walked—walking in love, purity, light, wisdom, and in the Spirit.

If one is married, the marital relationship follows next and takes precedence over others. Husbands and wives are given clear instructions on how they are to relate. The husband’s primary responsibility is to love his wife by cherishing and nourishing her. The wife’s primary responsibility is to submit to and respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22–33). Simple, yet profound.

Only after this relationship is addressed are children mentioned. The order matters. Placing children above the husband–wife relationship breeds an ill-ordered life—unless, of course, that marital relationship does not exist. Parent–child responsibilities take precedence over work relationships. One cannot sacrifice marriage or parenting on the altar of career advancement and economic progress.

The final relationship addressed is that of work—the master–slave, or employer–employee, relationship. Even here, work is to be done “as to the Lord and not to man” (Ephesians 6:7).

2. Commit to Faithfulness in Your Core Responsibilities

Faithfulness means being loyal and steadfast to these core responsibilities—and to their God-given order.

It means being reliable in doing what one ought to do in each relationship. Faithfulness is not passive; it calls for deliberate action.

It requires saying “no” to things that divert attention from commitments to God, spouse, children, and work—in that order.

Faithfulness is fidelity. Fidelity to God. Fidelity to spouse. Fidelity to children. Fidelity to work. It means keeping one’s word.

Overcommitting in peripheral areas erodes faithfulness in core responsibilities. Learning to say “no” is not only wise—it is necessary for fruitfulness. It keeps life well-ordered and well-managed.

Conclusion: Faithful and Fruitful

A well-ordered life is a calm and quiet life. We are counselled in the Scriptures to: “aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12).

Walking properly means our lives are to be devoid of marital dramas, infidelity at work, or neglected children or relationships. Time must be well spent and accounted for.

Our God is a God of order. We must follow suit.

A well-ordered life does not happen by accident. It is cultivated through clarity of responsibility and disciplined focus. When responsibilities are rightly ordered, time and energy are invested wisely.

The central aim is simple, though demanding: strive to live a well-ordered and well-managed life this year.

May grace be given to you and me to live such a life.